My early years- 2004 to 2006 when I was 10-12

This is where it all began. My early reviews are staggeringly different in tone and style to my current ones, especially in regards to my ratings. A majority of the films contained here received the 3 star rating (average) because I both couldn't recognize a film's shortcomings and (believe it or not) did not feel comfortable criticizing someone else's hard work. Thankfully, people in my life sat me down and made me realize that I couldn't give every film an "average" review, so I decided to man up and start criticizing flaws when necessary. Despite that, I still take pride in these early writings, and hope you will enjoy my 10-year-old self. Enjoy!

“Penelope”: Down and snout

2 out of 5 stars (has some good moments, but is overall bad) Penelope (played by Christina Ricci) is a girl with a pig snout for a nose. Many years before she was born, a witch put a curse on her family: the next newborn girl would have the face of a pig. The curse… Continue Reading

“Pink Panther” is the Cat’s Meow

From the 1963 Pink Panther, this remake is even better than the original. Steve Martin (Cheaper by the Dozen 2) is Inspector Clouseau, a French policeman who’s never getting anywhere because he’s an idiot. But Clouseau’s luck changes when he’s promoted to inspector by the chief. The chief, played by Kevin Kline, has promoted this… Continue Reading

Red Riding Hood, Not so Little Anymore

Hoodwinked Poster

3.5 stars out of 5 (above average) Note: I was completely wrong about this film.  Hoodwinked is a film that was made to try and cash in on the “animated films with attitude” craze that was occurring in the early 2000’s.  This craze began with Antz in 1998, and continued until 2010 or so.  Currently, I… Continue Reading

The “King” of all Movies!

5 out of 5 stars (One of the best movies I’ve ever seen, period) Note: This is one of my absolute favorite movies.  The acting is great, the script is able to effortlessly blend action, spectacle, romance, emotion, and humor, and it gives the entire cast some of their best work to date (including the controversially… Continue Reading

Roar, swish, aaahhhhh!

3 out of 5 stars (average) The Chronicles of Narnia is magical. After their mother sends them away to be safe from the war that’s happening in their country, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy find themselves being taken to live with Mrs. MacReady. She has a personality like poisoned honey. Soon after they get in… Continue Reading